This note is not me boasting or taking pride in any accomplishments. My accomplishments are nothing unless God gets the due glory for it.
As most of you know, I just got married and my wife and I (always wanted to say that lol) made it to the marriage as virgins.
What I hope to accomplish is to help anyone out there who want's help on the strategies we used to keep pure. Each one is backed up by the word of God from the Bible so that you know it's God who gives the strategy to overcome anything.
1. DON'T ATTATCH
1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Now up to the time I was writing this note, I took the scripture literally, but in deeper analysis the word touch means attach . Paul was a single man and he was a proponent of the single life and all that can be accomplished through it. So he was saying to the Corinthians that it's good for a man not to touch a woman. It's good for people to be single and nothing is wrong it doing the single thing.
We live in a culture that promotes quick attachments for the purposes of gratifying our fleshly desires. If we only knew that EVERYTHING even our relationships are there to gratify God.
With this in mind we would not be going around "looking for love" as much as we are right now because instead of looking for "love" we would be looking for God and how to get into a relationship that GLORIFY'S HIM....... NOT OUR FLESHLY DESIRE FOR A MATE.
You see.... staying single until you understand what glorifying God begins to mean is very important to me because when you start to understand the whole Romans 12:1 "surrender your body as a living saccrifice" thing then you stat to understand that your life is not yours and everything about your life is for God and then the choice becomes a whole lot easier when you want to attach.
2. See your relationship as a budding COVENANT.
It does not hit much people that marriage is the 3rd of only 3 UNIONS in God's eyes.
1st. God - Son - Holy Spirit
2nd Christ - Church
3rd Husband - Wife
A union covenant (not to play down all other covenants) is the most important of all.... just look at the company it's in.... the Trinity... and The Bride and Bridegroom!....... yeah.....
God won't break those unions (xcept for when he disconnected his son for 3 hours to judge the sin on his shoulders)..... but that was to create the 2nd one.
If you are in a relationship and you understand the concepts of serving and gloryfing God, then you would understand the implications of damaging the covenant.
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Paul says.... NEVER THE LESS....... meaning even though it is good not to be married and single and what not TO AVOID FORNICATION let every man and woman have his own wife and husband respectively.
Why is is to avoid fornication? because you will be attracted to people and even if you want to be single you may see the need to enter into covenant relationship with someone as an act of fulfillment of God's purpose for your life.
This natural human attraction will always lead to instinctive mating. (see society). But your job is to ensure that you seek out your wife and husband and when you have found him or her it's not to experiment.... it's for marriage so you will be avoiding fornication.
For those of you who don't see it as a budding covenant you may be one of those who has "divorce" as an option if it does not work out.
In that case I suggest you read this not by my buddy Joseph
http://www.facebook.com/no
3. RUN
Now for those who may already be in relationships and have begun touching and feeling because they did not see it is a covenant and what not as yet and probably now starting to see it that way.............well that snowball has begun........once you start YOU CAN'T STOP!!!......... no matter how strong you feel you are and how good your will is.... the human instinct to pro-create is almost unstopable....it can be slowed... but it just overtakes you.
What do you do in these cases?.........RUN!!!
Gen 39:12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
Joseph was a man experienced the pull of a woman, not just any woman, but a HOT woman too. In dem days the wifes of high ranking officials were well kept and treated like goddesses.
Home boy Joseph just had to RUN!!!.... cuz if he tried to fight it by himself he knew he would have succombed..... becuase it is just sooo easy to lose control.
I don't say this theoretically... i say it from experience..... whenever you are alone (it doh even have to be dark) the attraction takes over all your logic and you can easily find yourself in a compromizing position..... EASILYYYYYYYYY.
Minimizing ONE ON ONE interactions is a KEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
No matter how much you want to spend time in each other's company once you have already started the touching game you are on the snowball down the hill.
I don't reccomend you try to stop it cuz.... plain and simple you don't have it in you... all you have in you is a natural inclination to sin.
The most that can be accomplished is small spurts of non activity which leads to a big explosion after.
Make the interactions much more open and as harrrdddd as possible to have sex. It only takes one interaction in the dark to lose it.
4. ACCOUNTABILITY
It always helps to have somebody you know that you can talk too in the faith and who would challenge you daily in your Christian walk. You should be accountable (willfully) to them and they should be always keeping tabs on you to ensure that you are not going down a road where you cannot see the dead end, but they might be seeing it and pull you up.
Gen 4:9 And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
If I did not have to tell one of my good friends about my sexual relationship with my now wife leading up to my wedding......... boy oh boy.... I could have slipped. He helped me just because I knew there was someone I was accounting to, it addas a human aspect that no super spiritualism can superseed.
5. DESIRE GOD MORE THAN A PERSON
At the end of the day, sex before marriage is a sin against God. Christians are not SINLESS....... but they do try to SIN LESS This is important because the only thing that is going to prevent you from sinning is your desire to please God.
Most people try not to sin so that they will not be seen as sinful in the public's eye. But true believers in Christ GENERALLY attempt to sin less and not put themselves in a position where they can sin. This includes in your relationships with people.
You won't go playing pranks around someone who is given to anger easily. Nor would you make a sentimental joke with someone who get's emotional easily.
Therefore you won't go around someone you are courting in a one on one situation ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT when you know they are heavily attracted to you.
Sin is something we have to face daily, but the methods that we use to combat is have a part to play in our victory through Christ.
Pro 5:21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
__________________________
Above ALLLLLLLL things, your growth in GOD must always be your NUMBER 1 PRIORITY!!!!! No relationship or feeling of attraction should ever overtake that feeling or desire.... or else it becomes your idol.
Again I do not write this with any amount of boastful pride in my accomplishments.
Php 3:7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
My aim is to help those of you out there who may be going through what I just went through and how to overcome it so that God will be well pleased with your COVENANTS when they are sealed.
